How to Improve Body Image with Self Compassion

Modern-day society has strict and unrealistic ideals about what classifies as beautiful or attractive. Unfortunately, these ideals are perseverated in the media, and become a part of your self-evaluation. Feeling dissatisfied by your body and comparing it to others can result in an overall poor body image, and even disordered eating patterns.[1] Learn to improve your body image with self-compassion by practicing self-compassion meditation, enhancing your body appreciation, and stopping body comparisons.

Method 1 - Performing Self-Compassion Meditation

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→ Start a daily mindfulness practice. There’s tons of research out there showing how mindfulness supports a healthy body image. Since mindfulness is a key component to self-compassion, you should start here. Mindfulness focuses on present-moment awareness. Learning this technique can help you better tune into your body.

→ Mindfulness involves taking it slow and being able to sit with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. You can incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine in a variety of ways.

→ For example, when you are eating, don’t do anything else. Focus completely on the sights, smells, tastes, and textures of the food. Chew slowly and savor the food.

→ When you have a difficult thought about your body, sit with it. Notice how the thoughts affect your mood. See if you can locate any tension in your body caused by these thoughts.

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→ Engage in a compassionate body scan. A body scan is a terrific way to mindfully check in with your body and learn to soothe it. A 20-minute compassionate body scan should allow you to connect with your body and show it gratitude and love.

→ To practice this meditation technique, lie down somewhere quiet and distraction-free. Place a hand over your heart to remind you to be compassionate towards yourself. Beginning with your feet, move up through your body, paying attention to the sensations in each body part.

→ If you begin to judge your body during this practice, return your hand to your heart and radiate gentle feelings to yourself. Breathe deeply and continue your practice.

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→ Connect with your breathing. Affectionate breathing is another self-compassion meditation you can do alone or in conjunction with the body scan. Quickly scan your body and spot any sensations. Take three deep breaths to release any tension you may feel. This practice should last about 20 minutes.

→ Then, return to a normal style of breathing. Notice where the breath feels strongest. Don’t try to control your breathing, just act as a non-judgmental observer. Form a slight smile as your breathe in and out.

→ With each breathe, set the intention to pull in affection and kindness for yourself. Similarly, breathe out affection and kindness for others. If your mind wanders, don’t judge yourself. Simply return your attention to each breath and allow them to generate positive feelings within you.

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→ Practice loving-kindness meditation. Carve out 10 to 20 minutes each day to soothe and comfort any feelings of distress. This meditation helps identify any negative or judgmental thoughts about your body and help you be present with them.

→ First, tune in to your environment, noticing sounds or sensations. Take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Call to mind a trait that brings up negative emotions in you (e.g. my thighs or my double-chin). Find the physical representation of this trait in your body. Locate where the strongest emotions lie. Simply allow them to be.

→ Now, place your hand over your heart and soothe yourself. Silently repeat the self-compassion mantra to ease these difficult thoughts and feelings: May I be safe. May I be peaceful. May I be kind to myself. May I accept myself as I am.

Method 2 - Developing Body Appreciation

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→ Understand the relationship between body image and emotional health. We create a body image based on societal norms and emotional experiences. Having a healthy body image means fully accepting and liking who you are despite any flaws you might perceive. Practice looking in a mirror and finding things to love about the way you look. Even if you feel you have flaws, is there something about them that makes them special and uniquely you?

→ It can be helpful to think about how you might feel about yourself if you hadn’t ever been told that something about you was “good” or “bad” whether by a parent, bully or magazine.

→ Appreciate the body you do have. How does your body serve you and enhance your life?

→ Poor self body image can lead to anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts, which is why it’s important to cultivate a love for the way you look.

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→ Isolate your self-worth from appearance. One of the main influences of a poor body image is staking your self-worth on your outer appearance. To counteract this, you need to build up your self-worth based on traits that are unrelated to your appearance or how others view you.

→ Spend some time thinking about some of your positive characteristics. When people compliment non-physical traits, what do they refer to? Make a list. Examples might include being a great listener, being honest, or being an effective problem-solver.

→ If you have a hard time thinking of your positive traits, request the assistance of a trusted friend or family member. You might say, “I have a hard time noticing my positive traits. What would you say are some of my greatest strengths?”

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→ Notice what your body can do. If you have poor body image, you may spend more time dwelling on how your body looks versus what it can do. Your body is a miracle. When you devote your attention to its abilities, you are more likely to accept your body the way it is. Instead of being critical about your body, notice all the things it can do.

→ For instance, your strong thighs may help you perform squats in the gym. Your bosom may offer a soft place to comfort a loved one in distress. Your wide hips may make childbirth easier. Your muscular shoulders may help propel you while swimming. There are so many reasons to celebrate your body. Discover them.

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→ Listen to and attend to your body’s needs. When you are caught in a cycle of self-hatred or judgment, you may neglect your body or treat it unkindly. Building the habit of self-compassion helps you become more aware of your body’s needs. Then, you can efficiently meet those needs with loving-kindness.

→ For example, use your mindfulness exercises to listen for hunger cues (e.g. headache, twinge in stomach, etc.). Then, make the choice to eat healthy and delicious foods that fuel your body. Eat slowly and mindfully and then stop when your body tells you it’s had enough.

→ Similarly, listen to your body for signs of stress or exhaustion. You may push yourself nonstop, which can lead to burnout or illness. Be mindful of physical and mental cues (e.g. headache behind eyes, low energy, repetitive negative thoughts, etc.) that you need to rest and perform self-care.

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→ Find your personal style. You’ll feel greater appreciation and less judgment for your body when you dress according to your own style and preferences. Trying to keep up with society’s standards of dress will only make you resent yourself. Try out different colors, designs, fabrics, and accessories and regularly wear items that make you feel good about your body as it is.

Method 3 - Ending Body Comparisons

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→ Reject unrealistic beauty standards. Beauty is subjective—it’s all in the perception of the person beholding it. Therefore, you shouldn’t get caught up in media messages that claim a certain size or body shape is ideal. Learn to recognize and challenge these unrealistic messages.

→ For instance, if you read something in a magazine that portrays a thinner woman as being perfect, dispute this claim. Look out into the world for curvy or heavier women who are attractive, too. Then, tell yourself, “They clearly don’t know what they are talking about. There are so many examples of large women who are extremely attractive.”

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→ See imperfections as “human.” If you tend to react to flaws and disappointments with berating and self-deprecation, your body image will suffer. When you view your imperfections as a normal part of the human existence, you adjust to these disappointments in a healthier way.

→ When you look in the mirror and spot an imperfection with your appearance, remind yourself that virtually everyone has something about their appearance that they are dissatisfied with.

→ Remind yourself that we all have challenges with personal body image from time to time. Even people who you see as beautiful and flawless may have internal struggles with their own body image occasionally.

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→ Speak out against social comparisons among peers. Most women and men are guilty of comparing their bodies to peers or people in the media. This sends the message that you are in competition with others instead of being allied with them. As you develop an attitude of self-compassion, reduce your own body comparisons and deter friends from doing the same.

→ Let’s say you hear a girlfriend say, “Oh, how I wish I had Jennifer Lopez’s body! She’s so fit!” You might respond with “She’s beautiful, but so are you. Plus, it’s unfair to compare yourself to someone with a different genetic background, and tons of professionals who help her achieve physical fitness. Don’t beat yourself up for being unable to live up to unrealistic standards.”