How to Stop Feeling Over the Hill

This article is for those of you who might not feel comfortable with Twitter, or those goth styles, or who creak a little when you get out of bed. That is, for anyone who feels "over the hill", and sliding down the other side. Don't give up yet! Read on.

1

→ Be honest with yourself. Whether you admit it to anyone else or not, at least know inside yourself your true status in life. We all grow old and die, we all slow down. The evidence is all around us. Be realistic.

2

→ Separate your self-worth from societal expectations and images. You can only live as yourself, not an expected image or model. You might not be the rocking or running boomer you see around you (an image). You might not get the face-lift or other means to try to arrest your development. You might not need to do or be them. Nor are you the kid you may still feel inside yourself. Look in the mirror. The kids think you are old for sure! That doesn't degrade your self-worth and dignity.

3

→ Realize you are still developing. Yes, even now you are growing, maturing, learning new depths, gaining insights, becoming a better person. You can do many more things, study more, go more places, have more experiences.

4

→ Appreciate what you have. You may have family, hobbies, a career, enough health to do what you like, friends, interests, thinking power. Use all you have to keep exploring the world and yourself. Don't compare yourself to your kids, but to who you were before, and how you will continue to be a useful person in our world.

5

→ Enjoy sharing your hard-earned maturity. You now get to be the senior, the expert, the one younger people can look up, emulate. You are the role model, the leader, the exemplar. You are the Wise Woman or Eminence Grise. Since you are this already, you should enjoy it and fulfill the role well.

6

→ Remember what joys you've already had. Don't pout over losing the past, but remember what good times you've had and be happy for them. Realize that you've done wonderful things with the life you've been given, and if you are cut down tomorrow, you've had a good time already.

7

→ Re-assess your own priorities, goals, and strengths. These may be different from before, given your increased maturity. You aren't a kid anymore, and you must act and think like that. You can't pretend to have the energy or physical presence to pull off what you could before. Instead, you have a future to plan for, a family to deal with, perhaps elderly parents yourself to take care of.

8

→ Get ready for the next stages. You've heard it before, but now that you're half-way there, you'd better think of how to ensure your own future. This shouldn't depress you, but energize you to prepare yourself for what you can see is coming.

9

→ Fight depression or mental crises. With your new-found perspective, you can better judge and evaluate who you are, how to appear to others, and how to handle a mature life. Men especially seem to fight this process (hence "mid-life crisis"), and the ability to maintain a psychological balance is critical to not jumping off the deep end (read: young girl, big Harley, or sudden divorce).

→ For women facing menopause, remember that life is not only about sex. It may have been when you were young, but now you become the Wise Woman of many cultural tales. You can be graceful, well-dressed, nicely scented and made-up, and hold yourself with poise and easy confidence. Encourage your male acquaintances to talk about their appreciation of their female peers, without feeling like you are competing with your daughter. You can't. You're past that.

10

→ Find new things to do. You never stop learning or experiencing. Life is not over or a dead-end. Be useful to society around you, or even just do things for yourself. Pursuing social, spiritual, or personal activities won't put you in a position where people are disapproving of you, but instead will show you in a positive light. If you must seek the approval of others to not feel "old", then find places where your efforts are wanted and needed. Younger people always need mentors, models, a steady and mature hand and eye.

TIPS

→ Use your spiritual connection to place yourself appropriately within the world and higher powers, so that you can humbly appreciate where you are.

→ Talk to a trusted health care provider or guide to determine how to maintain your overall health and improve your condition. You've heard them before-- weight loss, etc.-- but they are becoming more important now.

→ Decide how much you plan to "chase your youth" with hair coloring, etc. but find someone who can reflect with you so that you don't come off ridiculous.

→ Find friends and associates your own age. Find older people where you are still the "youngster" of the group.

→ Establish mentoring connections with your kids or other younger people. Feel proud to be the one to make wise comments now.

→ Have a nice professional portrait taken that enhances your current looks and display it proudly. Send it to new and old friends to show them your current style.

→ If you can afford it, begin to work over your wardrobe, get a becoming hairstyle, go to a make-up class, or have your colors done. Use these to show off your positive attributes.

→ Find role models of your own, people your age or older whom you respect, admire, and can yourself emulate. They may be famous figures or not, but they show their age well.

→ Go work with senior citizens to get a real feel of where you're going and how you want to approach it. Realize how to take care of yourself, make plans, find a network of support people, position yourself to retire as best you can.

→ Talk with family, friends, a counselor or other adviser about your feelings. Admit that you are feeling older, and see what responses you get. Listen to their encouragement and assess it. Be open to their feedback, and make an effort to adjust your attitude.

→ Don't try to be or act childish or kid-like to cover up who you have become. It won't work, no one will be fooled, and you will just be someone to laugh at. It won't make you feel any better.