How to Get a Guy when You're in a Wheelchair

With these steps, you will soon get a guy when you're in a wheelchair.

1

→ Work on loving yourself first. You are wonderful, capable, and desirable, and your disability doesn't change that. Remember all your strengths, and tell yourself that you deserve love. You are worthwhile and you can get a partner—one with or without a disability.

→ Read from the disability community, particularly from writers in wheelchairs. Look at drawings and photos of people in wheelchairs. Recognize that you aren't alone, and that it's okay to use a wheelchair. (Also consider intersectional feminism, disability studies, and the social model of disability.)

→ Every time you think a negative thought about yourself, counter it with a positive one. For example, "Maybe I'm too disabled for this job" can be countered with "I gave an awesome speech last Friday."

2

→ Look your best. Shower, wash your hair, brush your teeth, and wear deodorant. Put on an awesome outfit that makes you feel confident and attractive. (Who says wheelchair users aren't well-dressed?)

→ To look extra nice, try makeup, perfume/cologne, or something fancy with your hair.

3

→ Introduce yourself and make conversation. Get a feel for what he's like, and if he's your type of guy. If you're shy, that's okay—work on asking him questions and letting him do most of the talking.

→ "Where are you from?" "What's it like there?"

→ "I noticed the _____ picture on your shirt/bag/binder cover. You like _____?"

4

→ Be prepared to mention your disability. Some people may try not to stare, or ask outright about why you're in a wheelchair. It may help to have rehearsed a brief, general script about your disability. How much you choose is up to you. It helps to speak calmly and factually, as this will set the precedent for how he sees it.

→ "I was in a car accident when I was seven, and I ended up paralyzed from the waist down. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I just use this wheelchair to get around."

→ "I have this really rare issue with my legs that make it difficult to walk. On worse days, I use this wheelchair, and on better days, I sometimes use a cane."

5

→ Notice how he reacts to you and treats you. If he treats you with disgust or pity, that's his fault (not yours) and he doesn't deserve you. A good guy may be a little confused at first, and while he might put his foot in his mouth, he'll ultimately respect you and recognize your disability as a natural part of getting to know you.

6

→ Be honest about your needs and his behavior. Sometimes you may want to ask him for help, and that's okay. He might not know how to respond to your disability, so you may need to do a bit of educating.

→ "Would you please help me grab my coat?"

→ "You don't need to rush to push chairs out of my way. Sometimes I pull up next to a chair because I want to sit in it."

→ "Don't worry. I can do this."

7

→ Start flirting. Once you've established that you like him, and that he's getting along with you, it's time to turn things up. Touch his arm or pick lint off his shirt. Compliment him. Meet his eyes and smile. See if he flirts back.