How to Be a Sweet Autistic Girl

Method 1 - Being Sweet

1

→ Do random acts of kindness. Just like you have problems that other people don't know about, everyone has problems you can't see. You never know who might need a pick-me-up. Here are some ideas:

→ Give random compliments.

→ Hold doors open for people.

→ Pick things up when people drop them.

→ Smile at people.

→ Surprise people with little gifts.

→ Do anything else that will benefit others. Even doing a minor edit to a wikiHow article can be considered an act of kindness.

2

→ Learn how to be a good listener when people need you. It's very helpful for them to have a shoulder to cry on. Validate their feelings and let them know that they matter to you. Here are some useful phrases you can use to get the conversation going:

→ "Do you want to talk about it?"

→ "That sounds really tough."

→ "I can see why you're so upset. That's a difficult problem to deal with."

→ "Is there a way I could help you with that?"

→ "Would it be helpful if we told an adult about it?"

3

→ Go out of your way to be there for people who are sad. Hug someone who looks upset, draw them a picture, offer them gum, or pick them flowers. This will help them recognize that people care about them.

→ If you're shy, that's okay. Silently handing them a piece of candy or sweet little note can cheer them up. Being kind and helpful is always a good thing, even if it's done through small or silent gestures.

4

→ Show your gratitude to others. People love to hear that you appreciate them. Thank lots of people: your parents, your teachers, guest speakers, the school janitors, anyone who makes the world a better place.

→ A helpful rule of thumb is that when you have a nice thought about someone else, it's good to share it. It will brighten their day. For example, if you like how someone's necklace looks on them, you can say "Your necklace is pretty."

5

→ Ask other people to teach you things. Everybody loves to feel like an expert, and asking for them to teach you lets them be helpful. Also, you can learn new ideas and pieces of wisdom from them.

6

→ Take good care of yourself first. It's hard to be helpful and sweet if your own needs aren't being met. Pay attention to yourself, and it'll be easier to be kind to others. Your health comes first.

→ Eat healthy food and get at least 8 hours of sleep.

→ Give yourself some quiet time to relax each day.

→ If someone is bullying or upsetting you, tell an adult. Your feelings matter.

→ Never smoke, drink, or try drugs. If someone offers them, say "No, thanks!"

7

→ Be assertive. It's good to be kind, but it's not good to be afraid to upset others. It's okay not to please everyone all the time. You don't have to do everything that people ask you to do, and you always have the right to say no.

→ Speak up if you see something that you think is wrong.

→ You don't have to hug people or smile if you aren't in the mood.

→ Practice scripts like "No, thank you" and "I would prefer not to."

→ If a situation feels weird or wrong to you, even if you don't understand why, talk to a trusted adult about it.

→ If someone doesn't listen when you say no, tell an adult you trust.

8

→ Be kind to yourself too. True kindness comes within, and you need to show it to yourself (not just other people). Give yourself understanding, compassion, and gentleness. Life is hard enough without being your own bully. Work on being kind to yourself.

→ Remember that you're allowed to have bad days. You will mess up, be cranky sometimes, hurt people's feeling by accident, and make mistakes. Everyone does this sometimes. Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect.

→ If you catch yourself being mean to yourself, stop. Ask yourself, "What would I say to a friend who was in my situation?" You would probably be a lot nicer, right? Treat yourself with the same kindness that you would give to a good friend.

Method 2 - Being Adorably Autistic

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→ Express your feelings how you'd like. Showing people how you feel helps them connect with you. If you feel enthusiastic and want to flap your hands, do it. If you're sad, find someone you trust and tell them what's wrong.

→ It's okay if the way you express yourself is different from the average. This is totally normal for autistic people. You're allowed to be autistic, because you're allowed to be yourself. Some may not fully understand you, but this does not mean that you have to listen to their misconceptions.

2

→ Stim all you want. Your stimming helps you stay calm, focus, and express your feelings. It is part of your disability (just like a blind person's white cane or a deaf person's sign language) and it's okay to be disabled in public. It's cute to be you!

→ You do not need to act like you are not autistic; constantly pretending to be someone else would mean not being yourself. It is okay to be yourself, whether you are autistic or not.

3

→ Dress adorably. This can mean different things for different people, but it more or less means dressing in ways that make you smile. If you love it, that means it's lovable.

→ Wear your favorite colors.

→ Pick comfy fabrics that are great for stimming. Try soft fabrics like microfiber, breezy fabrics, or whatever you like.

→ Dress in layers in case you get hot or cold.

4

→ Do things you love. If you do things that make you smile, it will help you be positive and nice to other people. Read about your special interests, sing and dance to music, paint, build a toy robot, or do whatever you like.

→ Your special interests are very important. Try joining clubs and meeting people who like your interests so that you can talk about them. If you can, do something related to a special interest every day. It can help you feel happier and calmer.

→ Autism is not just a list of challenges. You also have remarkable strengths. You are not a burden, you are a lovable, kind, and worthwhile person.

5

→ Make sure to take enough time to relax. Stress can be a serious problem for autistic people, and you want to avoid over-stressing yourself. Make sure that you have quiet time to relax each day.

→ Too much stress can lead to more meltdowns and shutdowns, as well as health problems like anxiety.

6

→ Give yourself permission to be you, and don't worry about being "normal". You might look different when you stim, or not "act your age." You may have trouble speaking and snuggle with stuffed animals while you read Jane Eyre. This is all okay. A sweet autistic girl is a girl who isn't afraid to be herself.

TIPS

→ Remember that "sweet autistic girl" is just a stereotype. It can be a big part of you, but there's also more to you. You don't need to follow each step in this article, and you don't need to change who you are.

→ If you're a teenager, you might want to start learning about autistic culture online. It's a very welcoming place for autistic people, young and old.

→ If you're not autistic, don't try to be a sweet autistic girl. Disability is not an accessory or a trend! However, that doesn't mean you can't be a sweet adorable girl.

Warnings

→ Be careful if you search the internet for autism information. Sometimes people who don't understand autism well will write articles that say cruel things. They are wrong. It's best to read things written by autistic people. (wikiHow is pretty good about this.)

→ Some bullies think that it's fun to make people who are different, including autistic people. Stay away from these people. They are mean, and the things they say aren't true about you. Ask for help if you are having problems with a person not treating you well.