How to Label Your Thoughts

It’s all too easy to be controlled by your thoughts, instead of the other way around. Negative thoughts have a way of sticking in your mind and getting in the way of your happiness and self-development. But it’s important to realize that thoughts are just thoughts, and they don’t have to control your actions or the way you feel about yourself. With a little practice, you can take back your mind by learning to label your thoughts. Start by making mindfulness a part of your everyday life. After that, you’ll be ready to identify your thoughts and respond to them in a positive way.

Part 1 - Gaining Awareness of Thoughts with Mindfulness

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→ Be mindful of your thoughts in short increments. As you start practicing mindfulness, aim to get 10 minutes of practice every day. Increase your target to 20 or 30 minutes as your skills improve. Avoid overwhelming yourself by trying to be mindful every minute of the day.

→ Mindfulness is like a muscle – it gets stronger with regular use. You wouldn’t expect to see overnight results from one session at the gym, so be patient with yourself as you work on mindfulness, too.

→ Try using a biofeedback device to help you track you progress. This is a device that monitors your heart rate and other vital signs to help you see how your relaxation efforts are helping.

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→ Focus on everyday activities. One of the best ways to develop mindfulness is to be fully present when you do mundane tasks. Instead of zoning out while you brush your teeth or chop vegetables, pay attention to the way your body feels, what you can see and hear, and the thoughts that flit through your mind.

→ As you gradually build up a skill of mindfulness, you are more likely to understand and anticipate your thoughts.

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→ Begin a meditation practice. Meditation strengthens your ability to concentrate, which helps you stay mindful for longer periods of time. Start with a simple form of meditation, such as focusing on your breath for five or ten minutes. As your focus improves, you can try more advanced forms of meditation, such as walking meditation.

→ You can find plenty of meditation resources on the internet. Guided meditations on YouTube are a good place to start for beginners. You can also look into a local meditation group to help you get started. Try checking for a local meditation group on a website such as Meetup.com.

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→ Listen deeply to others. When someone is talking to you, give them your full attention. Focus on their words, as well as their facial expressions and body language. If your mind wanders, gently return it to what the other person is saying.

→ Receptivity is one of the cornerstones of mindfulness, so listening to others is a good way to practice.

Part 2 - Identifying Your Thoughts

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→ Observe what’s going on in your mind. As you become more mindful, practice noticing and acknowledging the thoughts and emotions that pass through your mind. Don’t judge or criticize yourself for your thoughts. Just listen.

→ You may start noticing very brief thoughts and feelings flickering in and out of your mind that you weren’t aware of before.

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→ Distinguish between thoughts, emotions, and urges. Separate your thoughts – which are mental “objects” like sentences or images – from your emotions and impulses. Emotions are the feelings that your thoughts bring about. Urges, however, describes underlying desires we have based on our thoughts and emotions.

→ For instance, the sentence “I should leave for work now” is a thought, your mental sensation of annoyance with your co-worker is an emotion, and your desire to go get another cup of coffee is an urge.

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→ Unpack complicated thoughts and feelings. Often thoughts, feelings, and urges all get bundled up together, and it can be hard to tell which is which. When this happens, practice unraveling the mess to find out what’s really going on in your mind. You can do this by identifying the thought that stimulated everything. Remember, thoughts generally get the ball rolling in terms of subsequent feelings and urges. Find the thought or idea you have that causes emotions and urges to give rise.

→ For instance, suppose you want to unpack your strong feelings of negativity towards your family. You might discover that you’re really dealing with a deeply ingrained thought that your parents are disappointed in you, as well as a feeling of resentment that they favor your sibling over you.

→ It may be easier for you to unpack complicated thoughts and feelings by writing them down. Writing out your thoughts may also help you to be more objective about them. Try journaling for a little while every day to express how you are feeling.

Part 3 - Responding to Your Thoughts

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→ Take a step back from your thoughts. Label your thoughts to take back your control of them. For example, instead of thinking, “I really want to go home,” shift your perspective to, “I’m having the thought that I want to go home.”

→ When you view a thought as a passing phenomenon, instead of as a part of you, it frees you to decide how to deal with it.

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→ Avoid trying to control your thoughts. Accept your thoughts as they arise, regardless of whether you like them or not. Don’t try to repress or deny them.

→ Ironically, the more you try to control your thoughts, the more you’ll find them controlling you. Try to sit with your unpleasant thoughts for a while and see if they pass. However, if unpleasant thoughts continue for a long period of time, then seek the help of a mental health professional.

→ Accepting a thought doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with it or liking it.

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→ Fact-check your thoughts. When you notice that you’re having a recurring thought, ask yourself if it is actually true. If it isn’t, take a deep breath and let it go. Over time, this habit will help you overcome irrational and self-defeating thoughts.

→ For instance, if you learned how to use a new program at work last week, you might realize that your habitual thought of “I can’t learn new things” is based on insecurity, not reality.

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→ Ask yourself whether your thoughts are useful. Separate your thoughts that are helpful to your personal growth from the thoughts that are irrational, unnecessarily critical, or just taking up space. Keep the useful thoughts, and let go of the ones that aren’t helping you.

→ Negative or critical thoughts can be useful if you handle them in a neutral way.

→ For instance, the thought “I run late a lot” might prompt you to improve your time management skills.

→ However, the thought “I’m so incompetent at getting anywhere on time” isn’t helpful, because it’s unnecessarily demoralizing.

→ You may also want to try considering the worst case scenario for each of the thoughts you have to help you get through them. Try asking yourself, "So what?" after each thought and consider what the worst case scenario would be.

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→ Return your attention to the present moment. After labeling and processing your thoughts, release them. Focus on the present to clear your mind and move forward.

→ A good way to bring your attention back to the present is to notice a physical sensation or a detail of the world around you, such as your chilly hands or the bright yellow flowers outside your window.