How to Recover from Sexual Abuse As a Christian

It seems, in our modern world, that many people have been sexually abused at some point in their lives. Whether it was by a relative, teacher, doctor, or someone they were dating, there are many occurrences of sexual abuse these days. Some people have become obsessed with power over others, which is a root cause of sexual abuse. If you, or anyone you know, has been sexually abused, here are some tips on how to be able to recover from the trauma, from a Christian perspective.

1

→ Forgive whoever sexually abused you. But, try to stay away from him or her and all such untrustworthy people.

→ Forgive for your own peace and serenity. Joyce Meyer always says, "Do yourself a favor and forgive." That is so true.

→ We know that God said we need to forgive others in order for him to forgive us. It is extremely hard though, to forgive someone who has deeply scarred you for life. But with God's help, all things are possible.

2

→ Never blame the person who was abused. The Bible tells us of adults in sin: Paul said, "We formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to Satan, the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too formerly lived in the lusts of the flesh, and those indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind," (Ephesians 2:2) -- But, victims, whether you were are child or not, are innocent! You were and are innocent!

3

→ Let God be your vindicator. "Vindication/vengeance is mine" says the Lord. God will vindicate you, either in this life or the next. Don't worry.

→ Move on. Let go of the bad thoughts. Free yourself up from the nightmare caused by that past time.

→ Holding onto anger and bitterness will only hurt you in the end. It could continue to make your life miserable.

→ Also, you would be letting Satan win by holding onto anger your whole life.

4

→ Forgive yourself. Many times, for whatever reason, when people are molested or abused, they tend to blame themselves, and have extreme anger at the person they were in that circumstance.

→ Psychologists say that it is easier to be angry at yourself than at the person who hurt you, especially if it was a parent.

→ It feels more safe to say it was your fault than to think that your parent, significant other, teacher, or other adult, could be that evil and out of control.

5

→ Try writing letters to you in that moment about how you feel about that person. Make peace with the old you.

→ This may sound silly but it really is a very good tool to use in forgiving yourself and coming to total healing in this area. You really need to forgive the little you.

6

→ Have confidence, despite what happened to you. Realize that what happened to you does not define you. You are only a victim, if you choose to be.

→ Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Amen! Don't let anyone else victimize you. Stand up for yourself! Become a strong individual! Don't let people repeatedly hurt you.

→ And don't let Satan, the accuser of the brethren, accuse you in your own thought life or abuse you and tear you down in your mind. Tell him "That was then, and this is now. That is in the past!" Tell him to shut up in your thoughts. Sometimes, you need to talk back to him and put him in his place, which is under you feet as a Christian. Amen.

7

→ Identify yourself as a child of God, not as an abuse victim. Know that, if your earthly parent or parents were hurtful or deranged in some way, your loving Father, God, adopted you when you got saved -- and you are now HIS child. Who your earthly parents are does not matter, if they are still wrong and wronging you. God calls you his own. He says to you "You are mine." Receive it and believe it! He is the only father that matters anyway.

→ Get into a sexual abuse support group. Ask in your area at hospitals, churches, nurses and doctors, psychologists, social workers, and through Emotions Anonymous (EA) etc. It really helps to hear other people's stories to know that you are not alone. It helps to know that what you went through did not only happen to you, but it happens to millions of people.

→ Get an older person to mentor you who has been through the same thing. Reach out to others who understand what you have been through and how it affects you now.

8

→ Realize that sexual abuse has a lot of long term effects. These include insecurity, feeling like you don't deserve much, anger at self, anger at others, etc.

→ You need to get help and advice to heal from these aftermath issues of sexual abuse.

→ The best way to heal from being hurt by someone is to be loved by others. You need to reverse the effects that the abuse had. Your trust was broken badly by another human being, so the only way to gain trust in human beings again, is to be around a lot of trustworthy, good people, at church preferably.

→ God CAN use people to help heal you and he WILL if you let him.

9

→ Tell people your story. Write about it. Blog about it etc. It helps to get it out in the open. As long as it stays secret and hidden, Satan can use it against you to cause you shame etc. Let it out in the light.

→ Let others tell you it's okay that that happened to you. Let others assure that it wasn't your fault.

→ You will not really recover until you can openly talk about it.

TIPS

→ Have faith. Expect to not always struggle in your recovery like you may be now. It can be a long process to become complete, healthy and whole again, but you can do it by trusting Christ, believing it will be better! It will. Don't lose heart.

→ If you can't afford professional counseling, often times churches will have free lay counseling you can do. You would only need to fill out an application for it usually.

→ Stay at arms length, offer a firm handshake. Don't look for affection from a counselor. You may feel love, but realize it is like a more formal relationship like with a nice doctor or kind teacher -- not a physical love. This is not for fun.

→ Look for an uninvolved, but kind, gentle, listening counselor, to bounce thoughts off and offer solid advice.

→ Constant praying and meditation can do a lot to cope up from the situation.

Warnings

→ If you decide to confront your abuser, it might be best to do so through e-mail. Sometimes it is not safe to approach the abuser in person.